Posted in Personal development

Time to reset 

So I didn’t get ‘the job’, my best chance at starting my project management career in an environment I’m comfortable and confident in has slipped through my fingers. I aced the first interview but stumbled in the second, I knew I’d done it but now it’s official.  So my little brain is on a spin about how we move forward from here,  do I keep applying and trying to move into an area where I have no experience or reassess my goals and take a new direction.   I’ve had my heart set on this but it just seems to keep slipping further from my reach,  I don’t want to chase something that is only going to keep ending in disappointment.  I feel I need some time to myself to get in touch with where I’m at and made a few big decisions on what’s next.  Like a me reset 

Not my whole life just my professional choices basically I want control of my professional life back,  so I need to make some big changes and choices and take some risks. 

I know it seems so simple but knowing what will make me happy professionally eludes me,  project management makes me scared and excited but nothing really catches my heart and makes me truly excited with anticipation. 

 I need to find my thing! 

Posted in Personal development

The week that is 

This week I have taken back some of my control.  I have started work at a reasonable time, achieved (for the most part) my goals at work and feel like I have made a small difference.  That’s a good few days work right there.  Still the weekend has some grand opportunities to do a little better.  Drive a little harder. I have way more to offer than what I have already,  feeling pretty motivated at the moment. 

I think my motivation is linked to the fact that my later starts mean I have my workout groove on.   Now I only do short 15-30 min hiit sessions which I know for hard cores is nothing but for me that getting up, working out getting my heart rate up and feeling good about myself makes a world of difference to my mental and physical state.  

 I work out with the bodyrock #bodyrock team,  I usually make my way through a 30 Day Challenge adding a few burnouts or extra cardio videos as I go.  I have been working out with them for a few years and I am a huge fan,  I share the joy with everyone so many different workouts to choose from, great team always feel good after my workouts!  

Lisa Marie – my workout goal-  I figure if I reach really high I’ll be the best version of me! 
So I think getting back to my 4 times a week is helping me get on with business.  I don’t know about you but I Always eat better when I’m exercising,  my body seems to crave better foods which is just another bonus. 

Ok so blue cheese and prosciutto not exactly diet foods but balance and flavour are important to and this was so seriously delicious..

I was craving grilled cheese sandwich and decided to try something a little different.  I can not recommend this enough. Blew my mind how tasty it was,  I did add a little chilli and pepper to the cauliflower mix.. Amazing.. 

Coconut curry chicken with snow peas 

I have been back at my study a few weeks now hich means my days off are for longer workouts and hitting he books.  I had great results in my first exam which surprised me because I wasn’t confident going in.  I find business analysis hard to grasp, I get the concept just not the theory. 😞. Really pains me. 

I haven’t heard back from my big job interview yet,  it’s really frustrating but also a little exciting at the same time it’s like hanging of a cliff waiting to see if you will fall or get pulled back up. 

My thought of the week-  I had in my mind of I don’t get this big job then it’s time to let this dream go and just see where things take me then almost on cue this popped up in my news feed!

Posted in Personal development

Just say No! Simple right? We will see. 

My 30 Day Challenge will be to say No to something everyday and to share how that makes me feel.  Let’s see if I can grow into this. 
Some of the most consistent professional feedback I have been given for years is that I don’t know how to just say No!  Such a simple word but I really struggle with it, helping and supporting people is what I like to do, be there for them and make their lives easier.  I am very well aware this is a big part of why I was treated so badly last year, my inability to say No from the beginning left me vulnerable to being ‘used and abused’.  So this will be hard for me because sometimes I don’t realise I’ve been coerced into something till I’m half way through doing it, and sometimes I say sure and instantly regret being so helpful. 

 I have 2 great examples –  I was sitting at my desk at work one day a few years ago, I was Monday so no doubt I was under extreme pressure to get reports out and info to my boss because every Monday till about 11:30 was always the same.  One of my superiors was sitting behind me catching up on his weekend worth of emails, he received a call and without moving a muscle he said out loud ‘oh Jillian is stuck outside and can’t get the elevator to work’ I instantly jumped up and went to let her in whilst he sat and continued about his business.  When I got downstairs Jill looked at me and said ‘I called Adam’ are you his assistant or something?  In that moment I realised just how much he/they had me just kind of doing by making the simplest smallest comment I was off getting coffees, sandwiches, finalising their presentations, doing their expense reconciliations and often booking or fixing their travel arrangements.  No wonder I was struggling to get my day job done.  It had never not once occurred to me to say no, I didn’t even realise I was doing it.

I can assure you I am no better now, as I think about it the most recent was just last week.  I have renewed my commitment to myself to fit in my workouts 4 times a week, doing that means starting at 7 not 6am and giving myself the time to exercise and start my morning right.  I made this decision last Sunday when I was once again sick, I blame my being so easy to knock down with illness on my lack of taking care of myself.  

So Mon ✅ Tues- planned rest day each week. Wed I went for a walk with my husband so that’s still active ✅ Wed at work we knew we were going to have issues on Thurs morning so I was going to need to start early, that’s ok I still had Fri and I wasn’t budging on that.  About 2pm on Thursday afternoon my dry goods walks in and goes ‘we will need to be here at 6 will be load left from tonight for sure’. My response not even a blink of an eye.  ‘No worries see you then’.  It’s not my area, not my job and when I turned up at 6 he rocked up about 6:45 because he knew they got it done after all.  🙄. 

It’s time someone practises the art of saying No!  I could have simply said on Fri I will be here at 6:30 ( I could have worked out and made it by then) but I choose to just forget my own commitments and support someone else with their problems. Which is nice but it’s not getting me to my goals. 

I’m sure there will be a few posts about how I missed the opportunity,  but I am hoping if I focus for the next 30 Days on recognising those moments where I need to say No, I can start to become more aware of them and maybe get control of my need to please! 

Posted in Personal development

This isn’t working for me. 

So it’s not that I’m not grateful for stuff I surely am and I have been practising the art of recognising the little things in life especially over the last year or so,  I just think sometimes what I’m grateful for is little and perhaps to others boring and sometimes so basic that it’s just pretty much being grateful for breathing.  It’s not something I’m really interested in writing in a blog about. I have a diary that I use for grateful. It’s called grid diary and basically I go wine,bath and afternoon walk, so I thought maybe writing about stuff and delving into why I’m grateful for those things might be interesting but really I’m not that good a writer so it’s really not working for me. 

I’m just me and I’m just trying to find ways to appreciate my world and find my happiness.  I think recognising struggles is just as important as being grateful.

 My grid diary has 6 grids- what did I learn, what am I grateful for, how did I move closer to my goal, what challenged me, did I spend time with family/friends, how was my mood.  I quite like it I can write as little or as much as I want and if it’s in my too hard basket today I just miss a box. – rebel. 🙂 

I think I want to keep this space for learning more about me, about what makes me tick and delving into ideas and thoughts that challenge me to be real with myself.  So until I find my next writing inspiration,  I shall stop being grateful for bubbles and sunshiney afternoons. Well I’ll still be grateful I’ll just keep it to myself. 


Posted in gratitude, Personal development

Friday feel goods 

So grateful journal day 2&3 appear to have been eaten by my dog. (Classic forgot to do my homework story) 

So day 4 🙄 what am I really grateful for. 

Friday – I’m going to say the number one thing I’m grateful for is, it’s Friday.  I am so relieved that this work week is over, it has been so intense, not without its rewards, but very very intense. At the end of it I am feeling quite pleased with myself and like I actually added value and made a real difference.  We started some tough conversations and challenged some comfort zones, did a lot of work and really made a start at tuening a bogged old ship around.  But I am so relieved it’s Friday and to have this weekend off. I’ve not needed a weekend more than this in a long time. 

Walking- when I got in this afternoon Paul made me swiftly change and we were out the door,  because I’ve had a big week I skipped 2 workouts so he wanted to get my out and active so I would feel better about myself.  Worked wonders perfect start to the weekend, we went for an hour long walk, talked, enjoyed a perfectly lovely afternoon and each other’s company.  Just what I needed. 

Bubbles – I’m going to say the bubbles in my bath. 🛀 

They are crackling round my ears and the bath oil that made them smells deep and soothing.  Very relaxing feeling being surrounded bt bubbles, usually I try to get rid of them but today I’m relaxing into them and enjoying the noise and the feeling of them. 

I love scooping them up and blowing them into the air remind me of when I was really little. 

Cheers and all the best for a great weekend 

Posted in Personal development

Gratitude Journel- my new Challenge 

So I want to do a new challenge every 30 days,  to start with, I need to get better at daily posts!  Because my last challenge went a little over time. 😬 

I’m going to spend the next 30 day sharing 3 things I’m grateful for everyday.  Gratitude is such an important part of being happy with the life your living. 

3 things I’m grateful for today.

  1. Our walk this morning- we haven’t done this together ever.  I really enjoyed that we got up, got our butts moving and went for a walk before starting our day and we both enjoyed it so much we have set the alarm for tomorrow.   We came across some natural wonders- freaked me out.. these little creatures were marching somewhere in perfect form,  I am curious what it’s about and what it means, my sister said they were just in search of food 
  2. Having the opportunity to have an interview for my ideal role today, though I am not incredibly confident that I did as well as I wanted.  I am really proud that I had the opportunity and I felt good for the most part,  I know what I have to offer is valuable and I know I can improve my skills where I need too.  I am grateful for the opportunity and the time to discuss the role.  I can only grow from these experiences. 
  3. I really want to say wine…. but let’s not start there on day 1, It could end up on the list every day.   I am grateful for my hair straightener, I have been putting my hair up for a few months and last weekend I decided to stop being lazy. My hair is naturally terribly frizzy but my GHD is amazing and I always feel so good with my hair done properly.  Today I felt like I was having a great hair day and those are very important for confidence. 

Posted in Personal development

Feeling Gateful -30 Day Challenge. 

What am I grateful for? 

Today I am grateful it’s Sunday and that I took some me time, cooked, worked out, studied and relaxed in the sunshine, then finished my day with my Sunday night bath in perfect tradition.  Now I’m really ready for a good night sleep and a focused start to my week. 

That’s just today though, what am I really grateful for.. 

My husband –  he is a manly pain in the butt no doubt as they all are,  but I am very lucky because he tells me everyday just how beautiful, sexy and amazing I am and how proud he is of me.  He always compliments my cooking and encourages me to try new foods.  He has always encouraged my learning, self and professional improvement and my exercise goals.  I am very lucky to have such an amazing man taking care of me and supporting me. 

My Family-  I’ll just put them all together or this post will be sooo long..  My mum and Sissa always there, just right there when I want to share a thought or stupid moment 🤔, Casey, despite having our moments There is no doubt there is love and trust and we have each other.

My Girls- B,Sara, Kirstin,Rach, Loz and Bec amazing strong women supporting each other on our journeys. 

My home- it’s comfortable, functional and I just love being here it may be rental but it is exactly what we need right now and I am so grateful we found something to suit our needs. 

My journey- someone said once we work so hard to achieve things even little things but we forget so often to stop and enjoy those moments.  I try not to forget to celebrate those moments because we do tend to move on from them so quickly in search of the next big thing..  The journey, the work, the heartbreaks, the smallest of successes, these moments need to be captured and appreciated for their part in who we are.  I find a daily gratitude journal has helped me recognise those small steps along the way that make the bigger moments happen.  Sometimes those moments aren’t great and it is hard to appreciate their place as they happen,  I try to capture them as well the challenges,  because sometimes in hindsight they are the moments to be grateful for. 

I am grateful for the smell of a great meal when I am home late and Paul has cooked up something wonderful for me. 

I am grateful for the comfort of my bed every single night and the chink of my tea cup being put on my bedside table as Paul wakes me up every morning with a cup of green tea, and our special time together sitting up in bed every morning as we start our day and talk about how we think it will go. 

I am thankful for motivating quotes and Inspirational travel  and food photos.  I love that we are both in a space where seeing the world is now a priority and we can enjoy these adventures both together and separately and share our experiences. 

I am grateful for each day that I get to experience something new, get frustrated, cry, scream, love, laugh and live.