Posted in Personal development

Bit of an update 

On the 9th of April I posted my weekend of realisation and I thought I’d give a little update for a few weeks later.  

I am feeling good,  I feel like I have control of my own world again,  I am focused, motivated and basically happy. 

 I have control over my exercise routine this is week 3 of making my workouts a priority and I am very proud of that.  I was doing them before but now I’m doing them with attitude. 

I am regaining my control over my food choices, for too long I would just eat and now I am eating with purpose and intent.  I don’t have my meal planning quite on track but I am eating regular good food and tracking what I consume which highlights my opportunities. 

With these 2 key areas of my life back under my control,  my clothes feel better on me (I ditched the fat pants this week finally) my body feels more settled and less upset and my mind is more alert and I am more confident. I can really feel the changes.  So now it’s about being consistent and staying true to me. 

I also made a huge decision which was quite significant, I spoke to my line manager about my career choices,  I am letting go to some extent, my project management career goal which seems essentially unachievable, I am still applying and still trying to find ways to drive me forward but I have accepted it isn’t an overnight option for me.   I have put myself forward for career progression in store to store management and as soon as I did, so much hatred and anger lifted from my shoulders.

  It was as if making a decision and having the support of my managers gave me my career back,  Or my choices in my career back, like this isn’t where I have run too this is where I choose to be, I am good at it and I will thrive here, this is for me. 
I am excited for moving forward now and I can enjoy this journey whilst I still pave the way to achieving my goals, now that I have accepted it, now that I have control over it and now that I own it. 

Posted in Personal development

Who do I compare myself too? 

I read this question in one of those get to know yourself Pinterest questionnaires and it got me thinking, I do have one person who I compare many areas of my life too,  right or wrong I definitely have noticed that I consistently do it. 

My friend Sara is strong, she is persistent, focused, motivated (and motivating) beautiful, fun, sincere and supportive,  I find myself on many occasions looking to her behaviour and routines when judging my own.  

When I’m sulking and feeling sorry for myself I remind myself what she has faced and how she handles it with grace and gratitude,  when I’m struggling to get up and work out she is my consistent source of motivation,  we have been pacing each other for so long I know I let her down when I get slack. 

When I need someone to trust and confide in she is always ready to listen and pull me up or give me advise or just hear me.  

When I think about the kind of person, friend, leader I want to be it’s Sara who is the image of what I aim to be. 

I fall short in every aspect but that’s ok it gives me room for improvement and someone I want to aim to be more like.  I know you should just aim to be a better version of yourself but if I can be a little more like the person I look up to then I’ll be just that. 

Thanks beautiful lady for your daily inspiration. 

Posted in Personal development

My weekend realisation 

I have been a bit moody lately and I think being tired and run down has allowed me to loose focus on what matters and wallow in self pity. 🙄

 I am just at the end of 3 days off, I spent them studying, working out, meal prepping and cleaning house, but I also took some me time, sat out in the sunshine, went for a walk, watched a movie and had a coffee date with my husband, slept in a little and took a couple of nice long baths. 
 I feel refreshed, rejuvenated and refocused.  I have reset my goals, set myself some realistic short term achievements to go after and reset me.  

I am feeling pretty good and almost excited to get on with tomorrow. I have a plan to stop me sliding down that slippery slope again,  and a clear mind to start fresh. 

I have found my big rocks,  the things that matter to me, that will keep my on my path. 

I am excited, motivated and happy.  

I think I am me again.  

Posted in Personal development

Just thoughts and frustrations 

It’s been a crazy few weeks,  assessments for my bachelor degree have dominated all my free time and work has been just insane.  I have had no time to worry about health, eating right, exercising or even getting sleep, things that matter to me have just gone right out the window.  It’s funny how easily we can just drop what is important to us long term for what seems so important right now.

  I have lost my calm and my focus and everything just feels like I’m spinning, just hoping for something to grab hold of to steady myself and redirect my focus.  

The crazy feeling hasn’t been helped by the recent weather events here in Queensland,  nothing has impacted myself, family or friends really directly but the aftermath is quite intense. Work has been crazy since the cyclone crossed the coast and today is quite seriously the first day of normality.  I know what those seriously affected are going through, I was there in the last floods it’s just horrific and the devastation to lives, homes and businesses just keeps coming at the moment.  For a company so big we fell quite hard in all this and rebuilding might take a week or so but customer confidence has plummeted, when you can’t provide people with the basics in their time of need it is not easily forgiven.  My sisters town is the last to receive the brunt of it now with their river peaking yesterday it’s quite devastating thinking all they could do was wait for the inevitable.

Rocky race track 

I am reassessing my choices and decisions and evaluating my options, trying to work through what is right for me.  I need to stop the madness at work,  I need to stop letting others manipulate what I know and get back to me! 

Its time to stop and breath, then It’s time to start moving forward again! 

Clear the mind, find the big rocks and stop sweating the small stuff.. 

I keep getting caught in the sand. 

Posted in Personal development

Time to reset 

So I didn’t get ‘the job’, my best chance at starting my project management career in an environment I’m comfortable and confident in has slipped through my fingers. I aced the first interview but stumbled in the second, I knew I’d done it but now it’s official.  So my little brain is on a spin about how we move forward from here,  do I keep applying and trying to move into an area where I have no experience or reassess my goals and take a new direction.   I’ve had my heart set on this but it just seems to keep slipping further from my reach,  I don’t want to chase something that is only going to keep ending in disappointment.  I feel I need some time to myself to get in touch with where I’m at and made a few big decisions on what’s next.  Like a me reset 

Not my whole life just my professional choices basically I want control of my professional life back,  so I need to make some big changes and choices and take some risks. 

I know it seems so simple but knowing what will make me happy professionally eludes me,  project management makes me scared and excited but nothing really catches my heart and makes me truly excited with anticipation. 

 I need to find my thing! 

Posted in Personal development

The week that is 

This week I have taken back some of my control.  I have started work at a reasonable time, achieved (for the most part) my goals at work and feel like I have made a small difference.  That’s a good few days work right there.  Still the weekend has some grand opportunities to do a little better.  Drive a little harder. I have way more to offer than what I have already,  feeling pretty motivated at the moment. 

I think my motivation is linked to the fact that my later starts mean I have my workout groove on.   Now I only do short 15-30 min hiit sessions which I know for hard cores is nothing but for me that getting up, working out getting my heart rate up and feeling good about myself makes a world of difference to my mental and physical state.  

 I work out with the bodyrock #bodyrock team,  I usually make my way through a 30 Day Challenge adding a few burnouts or extra cardio videos as I go.  I have been working out with them for a few years and I am a huge fan,  I share the joy with everyone so many different workouts to choose from, great team always feel good after my workouts!  

Lisa Marie – my workout goal-  I figure if I reach really high I’ll be the best version of me! 
So I think getting back to my 4 times a week is helping me get on with business.  I don’t know about you but I Always eat better when I’m exercising,  my body seems to crave better foods which is just another bonus. 

Ok so blue cheese and prosciutto not exactly diet foods but balance and flavour are important to and this was so seriously delicious..

I was craving grilled cheese sandwich and decided to try something a little different.  I can not recommend this enough. Blew my mind how tasty it was,  I did add a little chilli and pepper to the cauliflower mix.. Amazing.. 

Coconut curry chicken with snow peas 

I have been back at my study a few weeks now hich means my days off are for longer workouts and hitting he books.  I had great results in my first exam which surprised me because I wasn’t confident going in.  I find business analysis hard to grasp, I get the concept just not the theory. 😞. Really pains me. 

I haven’t heard back from my big job interview yet,  it’s really frustrating but also a little exciting at the same time it’s like hanging of a cliff waiting to see if you will fall or get pulled back up. 

My thought of the week-  I had in my mind of I don’t get this big job then it’s time to let this dream go and just see where things take me then almost on cue this popped up in my news feed!

Posted in Personal development

Just say No! Simple right? We will see. 

My 30 Day Challenge will be to say No to something everyday and to share how that makes me feel.  Let’s see if I can grow into this. 
Some of the most consistent professional feedback I have been given for years is that I don’t know how to just say No!  Such a simple word but I really struggle with it, helping and supporting people is what I like to do, be there for them and make their lives easier.  I am very well aware this is a big part of why I was treated so badly last year, my inability to say No from the beginning left me vulnerable to being ‘used and abused’.  So this will be hard for me because sometimes I don’t realise I’ve been coerced into something till I’m half way through doing it, and sometimes I say sure and instantly regret being so helpful. 

 I have 2 great examples –  I was sitting at my desk at work one day a few years ago, I was Monday so no doubt I was under extreme pressure to get reports out and info to my boss because every Monday till about 11:30 was always the same.  One of my superiors was sitting behind me catching up on his weekend worth of emails, he received a call and without moving a muscle he said out loud ‘oh Jillian is stuck outside and can’t get the elevator to work’ I instantly jumped up and went to let her in whilst he sat and continued about his business.  When I got downstairs Jill looked at me and said ‘I called Adam’ are you his assistant or something?  In that moment I realised just how much he/they had me just kind of doing by making the simplest smallest comment I was off getting coffees, sandwiches, finalising their presentations, doing their expense reconciliations and often booking or fixing their travel arrangements.  No wonder I was struggling to get my day job done.  It had never not once occurred to me to say no, I didn’t even realise I was doing it.

I can assure you I am no better now, as I think about it the most recent was just last week.  I have renewed my commitment to myself to fit in my workouts 4 times a week, doing that means starting at 7 not 6am and giving myself the time to exercise and start my morning right.  I made this decision last Sunday when I was once again sick, I blame my being so easy to knock down with illness on my lack of taking care of myself.  

So Mon ✅ Tues- planned rest day each week. Wed I went for a walk with my husband so that’s still active ✅ Wed at work we knew we were going to have issues on Thurs morning so I was going to need to start early, that’s ok I still had Fri and I wasn’t budging on that.  About 2pm on Thursday afternoon my dry goods walks in and goes ‘we will need to be here at 6 will be load left from tonight for sure’. My response not even a blink of an eye.  ‘No worries see you then’.  It’s not my area, not my job and when I turned up at 6 he rocked up about 6:45 because he knew they got it done after all.  🙄. 

It’s time someone practises the art of saying No!  I could have simply said on Fri I will be here at 6:30 ( I could have worked out and made it by then) but I choose to just forget my own commitments and support someone else with their problems. Which is nice but it’s not getting me to my goals. 

I’m sure there will be a few posts about how I missed the opportunity,  but I am hoping if I focus for the next 30 Days on recognising those moments where I need to say No, I can start to become more aware of them and maybe get control of my need to please!